Bonds of Love: Kaulini Devi Dasi

In the beginning, Kaulini said she didn’t have much attraction or even a desire for spiritual life, but she was following her husband, Kesava Bharati. Kaulini thought, “I’m stuck now because I’m pregnant, but as soon as the baby’s born, I’m leaving.” That was her plan in January 1973.

We got an apartment a block from the temple on Valencia Street in San Francisco, and immediately Jayananda and Vaisesika took Kesava Bharati under their wings and he jumped right into sankirtana. The first time I went to the temple, I heard that buzz from everybody chanting japa in the temple room. I was overwhelmed. I sat in the lobby and Harivallabha talked to me, which helped a little, but I wasn’t really interested.

Jayananda knew I needed service to feel connected to Prabhupada and Krishna. He had me write the Bhagavatam verse on the board every day and I also helped make vases. Later, when the temple president recommended Kesava Bharati for initiation, I went along for the ride. In May, when our son Rama was barely a month old, we were initiated by mail.

Soon after, all the women, including me and my two-month-old baby, packed ourselves into a car and drove to see Prabhupada in L.A. Hundreds of devotees were there. When we arrived, the other women jumped out, but I just sat in the parking lot and wondered what to do. I felt alone. Prabhupada was giving class, but because of my baby I stayed in the car in the parking lot. I still hadn’t seen Prabhupada. Then a devotee told me, “Tomorrow morning before Prabhupada goes on his walk, wait in the alley.” Rama and I did that. When Prabhupada came he had such a big, beautiful smile. I immediately felt he recognized me. He planted the initial seed in my heart that made me not want to leave Krishna consciousness.

During the San Francisco Ratha-yatra in ’74, Prabhupada was going to stay in the house my husband and I shared with a few other couples. I helped get the house ready. I realized the truth of what Jayananda had told me: service creates the connection – you end up loving whomever you serve. Prabhupada held a darshana with the devotees in our house, but sad to say, because of Rama, who was about a year old then, I couldn’t attend.

Then Rama and I moved to Dallas and were there when Prabhupada visited. Prabhupada was giving out rasagulas. I wanted to give him something, so I gave him a pomander ball – an orange filled with cloves that makes a room smell good. When I handed it to Prabhupada he was puzzled, “What is this?” He looked at it, then set it down with a sweet smile that seemed to say, “I don’t know what this is, but I understand you’re trying to offer me something.”

At the Philadelphia Ratha-yatra, I hoisted Rama onto my shoulders and didn’t budge from the wheel of Subhadra’s cart for the entire parade. Whenever I looked up at Prabhupada, who was riding on that cart, I saw him looking at me.

Prabhupada gave all of his spiritual daughters special reciprocation. Each time I saw him that initial distance I had felt shrunk; he brought me closer to him and the reciprocation got deeper. I’ve never experienced that with any other person in my life. Because of Prabhupada my whole experience of life in Krishna consciousness has been wonderful. He’s the force behind it all, the person responsible for my good life. Nondevotees are in so much anxiety. 

There’s no doubt I would have suffered in the same way. But Krishna has not let me go away.
Krishna gives us exactly what we need to turn to Him, and He designs everything to purify us and help us come close to Him. It’s not always easy or without struggles and trials, and we don’t always think everything that happened to us is right, but Prabhupada is protecting and looking after us. According to our mindset we can look at something in a negative or a positive way. We have free will, so we make choices and sometimes mistakes – that’s human nature – but can anything bad outweigh all the good that comes from living a Krishna conscious life?

Prabhupada is freeing us from material anxieties and the fear that comes with material life. Every day we’re given an opportunity and being reminded to turn to Krishna. We’re protected. That’s Prabhupada’s gift to each of us.

Hearing about her are all purifying

Kaulini devi dasi, a beloved disciple of Srila Prabhupada, departed from this world in Gita Nagari dhama last Thursday morning, September 3, at 2:20 a.m. She joined ISKCON with her then husband (now Keshava Bharati Maharaja) in 1972 in San Francisco, and gave birth to their son Rama shortly after.

Mother Kaulini, as she is affectionately known, was recognized by her qualities as a genuine living saint. One such ornament that outstandingly decorated her was simplicity. Her dear friend Sudamani devi dasi recently recalled an instance from their first meeting to illustrate this. Around 1974 or so, Mother Kaulini and her son stayed in Gita Nagari while her husband was assigned to a mission of service elsewhere. When Sudamani befriended her there and inquired about the duration of her stay, Mother Kaulini replied, "I'm not sure; whenever my husband comes to pick me up." In time, Mother Kaulini learned her husband wasn't coming back; he was taking sannyasa. But she never complained, she simply continued to happily live and serve in Gita Nagari with exemplary devotion, sacrifice, and humility for nearly 35 years.

Mother Kaulini was pure-hearted, peaceful-minded, and satisfied. When Satsvarupa Maharaja stayed in Gita Nagari and used to take morning walks with his disciples, Mother Kaulini would join them. She heard all of the devotees speaking to him about their problems. Finally, one day on a morning walk she innocently asked, "Maharaja, is it ok not to have any problems?" (Quoting Saci-suta:) "She really didn't have any problems. Devotion and humility came natural to her. She personified it, and that's why so many people loved her. Those qualities are truly attractive, and that's why she attracted the admiration of so many people."

It wasn't just people who were attracted to Mother Kaulini, but animals too. A saint is a friend to all living beings, and all living beings are friendly to the saint. Mother Kaulini loved the animals, and all the animals loved her. For years she milked the cows in Gita Nagari twice a day. She loved the cows. And there was one cow with whom she had an especially affectionate bond: Visakha. Visakha gave milk for YEARS after she was bred. (Ravindra Svarupa prabhu said:) For 12 to 14 years that cow kept giving milk, because Kaulini was her calf! She loved Mother Kaulini as much as Mother Kaulini loved her. There was a relationship.

And it wasn't just to the cows but to all animals that Mother Kaulini would extend her maternal nurturing. Very attentively, she would give fresh milk to the barn cats at milking time, or put out left over prasadam for the peacocks. Damodara dasa, a devotee from Boston, used to visit Gita Nagari every week. And at Mother Kaulini's request, every week for months he would drive back with a box full of kittens that she wanted him to find good homes for.

Mother Kaulini personified this unconditional love and compassion for ALL, without exception...even the flowers and vegetables. Krishna Kumari devi dasi had the privilege of cooking with her and witnessing her concern for the use of all ingredients. If they were making samosas and a little bit of mashed potato and peas were left sticking to the bowl in the end, Mother Kaulini would take care they didn't get left behind and say, "Imagine being that pea that didn't get offered to Krsna." Or, if there were an excess of picked flowers remaining after decorating the Deities or puspanjali, she would insist that somehow or other every single one found a place on the altar. It was more than a consideration of waste; it was her compassion to give everyone and everything opportunity to be engaged in devotional service.

This is because Mother Kaulini saw everyone and everything in relation to Krsna. She lit up with appreciation for the simplest things, seeing the beauty and joy in them. Similarly, she appreciated the sincerity in everyone. Holding that vision, she overflowed with love for others.

Feeling that love and being seen in that light of Mother Kaulini's vision, anyone who knew her loved her deeply. She was a beacon of encouragement and inspiration.

One of the striking ways she evidenced this was in her relationships with families - husbands, wives, and children. She performed the marriage ceremonies for many couples, and the grain ceremonies for all of their children. Even long after doing so, she held a significant place in their hearts and families, far beyond the range a priest ordinarily would. She was a spiritual mother and grandmother to dozens of spiritual children and grandchildren.

One family that Mother Kaulini was particularly close with was that of Saci-suta dasa, Keli Lalita devi dasi, and their three children. In 2008, when Mother Kaulini's health had become frail, they lovingly insisted she come live under their care in upstate New York. They purchased a house for her next to theirs, where they could serve her and look after all of her medical needs, etc. While living there for the past 7 years, she fully participated as a member of their family, celebrating every holiday with them and attending every athletic game, school event, birthday, etc. of the children...even keeping score! She took such genuine interest and joy in each of their lives.

Through seemingly simple and ordinary ways of being grandmotherly toward the children, Mother Kaulini indelibly endeared herself in their hearts. Through tears and laughter, Subhadra Priya, the second daughter of the family, described one incident that created a memorable impression of Mother Kaulini's presence in her life, that she will so much miss. One day, the kids expressed their disappointment to Mother Kaulini that Keli Lalita wouldn't allow them to drink Gatorade because of the food coloring in it. The next day, when they were with Mother Kaulini in her house, she opened the refrigerator, revealing cases of Gatorade! "Now you don't have to worry; whenever you want Gatorade, you can come just come over here." And they did!

(Radhanatha Swami:) "She personified compassion. In the core of her heart, she has such deep-rooted connection, faith, and loyalty to the traditions of parampara in Krsna consciousness. Yet we're hearing that she could extend herself in such beautiful ways to bring others closer to Krsna and keep them close to Krsna."

Glorifying Mother Kaulini wouldn't be complete without highlighting that she was completely devoid of the propensity to criticize others. Those who know her intimately have attested in various ways that they NEVER heard her say anything bad about anyone. Moreover, if she heard someone complaining about another, she would either gently turn the subject or present another angle from which to view the same behavior in a compassionate light. Kirtan Rasa dasa recalls one such instance when someone was harassing the devotees at Gita Nagari, to the point that they even took legal action. But while he and others were angry, wanting to curb this person, Mother Kaulini's only comment was, "Imagine what pain this person must be feeling to act this way." Another time, Sudamani devi dasi asked her for a reference in regard to a young woman who wanted to move into the Philadelphia temple and had previously been in Gita Nagari. Mother Kaulini simply said, "I can only suggest you give her her own room." As it turned out, this woman was mentally ill with a history of violent episodes. But it was not anywhere within Mother Kaulini's being to speak anything bad about anyone. Just, "give her her own room.

Beyond all of this, Mother Kaulini was crowned by humility. She never sought any attention or recognition for herself in return for her service, which was abundant. She was incredibly hard working and dedicated. Whatever needed to be done - menial or not - she would do it, quietly, conscientiously, and joyfully. She served because she loved Srila Prabhupada, Radha Damodara, the cows, all the animals, and the devotees. She cooked, she dressed the Deities, she milked the cows, she bought the bhoga, took out the garbage, cleaned, and even managed the farm and temple when there was no one else to do it. Jayadvaita Swami noted there was a crucial point in the history of Gita Nagari and that it was Mother Kaulini's small, humble service that kept the place together at that critical time. Saci-suta moved to Gita Nagari during that period in the late 80's, when it was on the verge of collapse after formerly thriving. He remembers the feeling that the farm was functioning under Mother Kaulini's sakti. He didn't know her well yet then, but he could see and feel that she had that presence.

Though Mother Kaulini never sought attention for her service, Prabhupada and Radha Damodara surely noticed..and reciprocated! After a long and successful battle with cancer, she developed kidney failure and decided to return to Gita Nagari - the home where her heart was - to leave her body. Her final days there exemplified an ideal completion of a life gloriously lived. Those who love her came to be with her, even Sri Sri Radha Damodara! They left Their altar and went to see her in the cabin where she stayed on her death bed. One of Their oxen paid her a visit too...a huge ox, walked right in her room to tenderly greet her! And she was surrounded by loving devotees. Those who could not come to be present with her physically, poured out their affection, gratitude, and support to her in letters. Her passage into Krsna's embrace was held in the prayers of devotees near and far, as they accompanied her departure with the chanting of the holy name.

Dhanurdhara Swami reflected: As a sannyasi, traveling and preaching, people come forward and give respect, service, donations, etc. in appreciation. Mother Kaulini never sought any of that. She just served, with no big fan fair. But look what she got in the end! She got the best! Radha Damodara and Krsna's cows coming to her room, surrounded by devotees and the holy name, in the dhama!

And that is where we are assured she went...to Krsna and His cows, in the association of His eternal devotees in His abode. Years ago, Tamal Krishna Maharaja saw Mother Kaulini coming out of the cow barn wearing boots and carrying a bucket of milk. He commented that this is what she will be doing when she gets to the spiritual world.

We are blessed to be able to meditate on the qualities of such a dear devotee who is with Krsna now. Hearing about her saintliness, remembering her, contemplating her example, and feeling separation from her...these are all purifying. This clears our hearts and makes way for us to follow in her path, back home, back to Godhead.

Mother Kaulini ki jaya!

You are truly one of Krishna's dearmost gopis

By Jambavan Dasa

I just got word that my dear Mother Kaulini is now beginning to leave her body, if she hasn't already left. There is no prayer I could ever give for her. How would Krishna ever listen to me? Her devotion is all that is needed and I am sure that Damodara is now taking his beloved devotee back to him. I am thankful for all the association my family and I had with her in this lifetime and I hope that someday we can all serve together once again. Thank you Gaile Kaulini Beck for your wonderful example. And if you can, please say a prayer for all of us when you get back home. You are truly one of Krishna's dearmost gopis.

Special dedication by H.H Satsvarupa Das Goswami

“Today is Radhastami, the Appearance Day of Srimati Radharani. I’m going to read an essay that I wrote about Srimati Radharani. I realize it’s a little risky to read something and expect to hold the audience’s attention without eye contact. But I’m going to do it. It’s an interesting essay, and it’s appropriate for Radhastami. It’s also appropriate for followers of Srila Prabhupada.

“I want to dedicate this reading to Mother Kaulini. Mother Kaulini used to love to attend these festivals that we held at Stuyvesant Falls, especially when she could conduct abhiseka with her Govardhana-sila. And when she didn’t do that, she would sit quietly in a chair in her white sari and covered head and take part in the chanting, hug people who came who knew her, and listen to the lectures. Just her presence was really outstanding because of her saintly qualities and the love she had for everyone. So we miss her on this occasion.

“I just remembered the last exchange I had with Mother Kaulini. Just before she went to California, her son Ram drove her in the car from across the street over here. And we had a meeting on lawn chairs. I wasn’t aware of it, but it was the last meeting I would have with her. Ram expressed to her his feeling of obligation and love in taking care of her, and he said, “That’s what sons are for.” Mother Kaulini said, “That’s what everyone is for!” That’s quite a realization, that the love that Ram had for his mother and the love that she had for him, she felt was something that everyone should have for everyone.

“So we should remember Mother Kaulini. Whether Mother Kaulini remembers us, she is now in the spiritual world. It’s a little esoteric. When Ravindra Svarupa was here on Janmastami, he quoted a talk that Prabhupada had with a few disciples. One disciple asked Prabhupada whether Siddha-svarupa [dasa] is going to the spiritual world, and Prabhupada said, “All of my disciples are going to the spiritual world.” And he mentioned a few of them who were present. And he said, “Everyone will go. We will have another ISKCON in the spiritual world. But Mr. Nair cannot go.” Mr. Nair was the man who was trying to cheat Prabhupada out of the land in Bombay.

“On another occasion Prabhupada said, “If you hold onto my dhoti” – talking to devotees in general – “I have a key to the back door to Goloka Vrndavana.” So there’s the philosophy of eternal relationships with pure devotees. So many great souls in ISKCON are quickly vanishing before our eyes. We don’t exactly know their whereabouts. But according to these statements I made, there’s every chance that we may meet up again in some form or other in the spiritual world if we keep up our side of the bargain.

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Cheerful simplicity, her optimism and trust in Krishna!

by Satsvarupa Das Goswami

I want to write about Mother Kaulini. About a year ago she asked me to stop writing about herself on my website, because of her illness. So I stopped. Before that I used to write about her frequently, and post photos of her visits to our ashrams for lunch. I even received a protest from a Godbrother: “Why do you write so much about Kaulini, practically every day? I could understand if you wrote about Jayapataka Maharaja and said what a fantastic preacher he is, or about Hridayanada Maharaja and said what a great scholar he is. But what has Kaulini done?” I wrote back that my website is about activities of Stuyvesant Falls. Kaulini was a close neighbor and I see her a lot. “If you visited me, I would write about you, and say what a great book distributor you are.”

But I did not write about Mother Kaulini just because she was a neighbor, she was an inspiration for anyone who met with her. Because anyone who met with her was affected by her cheerful simplicity, her optimism and trust in Krishna; she lived and served for many years at Gita-nagari and in a quiet unsung way rallied all the devotees with her positive spirit. She milked the cows and spent long hours cooking in the kitchen. Once Tamal Krishna Goswami visited Gita-nagari and from his car he saw Kaulini walking from a cow barn, carrying a bucket of milk and wearing boots. TKG remarked that when Kaulini went to the spiritual world she would do probably the same thing she is doing now. In other words, in Goloka Vrindavan she would be caring for cows and carrying milk – with Krishna in the center. When I lived at Gita-nagari Mother Kaulini used to accompany us when I took a morning walk with my disciples from the temple to the Cabin. My disciples would often ask me questions about their problems – spiritual, material, psychological, and mental. One morning Mother Kaulini asked if it was alright if a devotee did not have any problems. Hearing everyone expressing their troubles, she innocently wondered if anything was wrong with her for not having problems. Mother Kaulini did almost everything at Gita-nagari: she was the pujari for Radha-Damodara deities, she cooked for the devotees, she milked cows and treated them as children, she was “housemother” for the younger women, she befriended the cats and the few dogs who lived on the farm. For a period she was even the Temple President.

Mother Kaulini liked to offer to Radha-Damodar beautiful garlands and lavish flower arrangements, she liked making sumptuous prasadam for the devotees, but when money were scarce she made simple garlands and prepared vegetables like carrots. She made to with whatever was provided and did not complain. When Mother Kaulini’s husband, Kesava Bharati accepted the sannyas order, she wore white and flourished in chaste renunciation. But she remained lovingly attached to their son, Ram, who became a police officer, moved to California and eventually got married. She kept in close touch with Ram, and they occasionally exchanged visits. 

She made pilgrimages to India and loved the holy dhama of Vrindavana. Once her beloved cow died in Gita-nagari and later when Mother Kaulini came to Vrindavana a particular cow came to her and was extremely affectionate. She surmised that the bellowed cow from Gita-nagari had been reborn in Vrindavana and remembered her! She obtained a small Govardhan sila in Vrindavana and maintained intimate personal worship. As the years went by Mother Kaulini became severely ill but continued her heavy duties to the point of overwork. When Saci-suta and his family came to Gita-nagari and accessed the situation Saci insisted that Mother Kaulini leave her prabhu-datta-desh and moved near his family in Stuyvesant Falls, Upstate NY. Mother Kaulini was very close to Saci-suta, his wife Keli-lalita and their growing family, and she agreed. Saci bought her a house of her own next door to his. She was happy there, recovered her health and became like another mother to their young children. They even named their eldest daughter after her, Kaulini. She continued her pilgrimages to India and her occasional exchange of visits with her son, who now had children of his own. There were small communities of devotees living in Stuyvesant Falls and Keli-lalita as a yoga instructor was in touch with many yoga students. Keli-lalita and Mother Kaulini arranged festivals on Vaisnava holidays, held in the large yoga studio near Saci-suta’s home. Dhanurdara Swami and me both had residences near Saci-suta’s house. And they regularly gave talks to many guests on the festival days. Mother Kaulini also led a small group of devotees for kirtans every night at her house.

Several years ago Mother Kaulini contracted cancer, she underwent long series of treatments, personally supervised by Saci-suta who also arranged for series of caretakers to be with Mother Kaulini. She tolerated the ordeal and maintained her cheerful spirit and deep faith in Krishna. The cancer eventually went into remission but she remained weak and exhausted. She never recovered and went to Gita-nagari for hospice. She passed away on September 3rd at 2am surrounded by loving devotees, chanting kirtan to see her off to the spiritual world. She will be sorely missed by many devotees who loved her, but we are all assured that she has gone back to Godhead.

She was like an innocent child - open, emotional and loving

by Acarya Das
Hare Krsna. All glories to the assembled devotees. All glories to Mother Kaulini.
Mother Kaulini’s passing was very difficult for me. I actually never fully recovered from her leaving GN, some years ago, and moving to Stuyvesant Falls. She is such an integral part of my “Gita nagari experience” because of my early years at GN. 

I moved here from the Boston temple in the mid or late ‘80s. Without going into the history, at that time GN had more or less just collapsed from a large thriving community of perhaps 100 devotees, with tons of money, and lots of activities; to a mostly penniless, group of a handful of devotees, struggling just to maintain things. Yet, those were my happiest days ever in KC. Partly that was due to the fact that I was finally out of the city and living in the country, as I had wanted to do since I was a little kid. Partly it was because my sadhana and engagement in service was at a peak, unmatched before or since. 

But the main reason was the strong family atmosphere in our small tight knit community. I did not think of it like that at the time, but we were just like a family, with all of the family archetypes. Svarga and Vegavati were the helpful and affectionate aunties. Suresvara was the scholarly uncle and advisor. Bhubrt was the competent and responsible uncle that made dynamite halava. And you know that uncle that shows up for Christmas dinner that everyone loves, and works hard, but is just slightly weird enough to make everyone a tiny bit uncomfortable. 

That was Gudakesa. And Saci Suta was like my big brother. Although he was a little younger than me, he was guiding me as a new GN resident, and showing me the ropes; how to drive a tractor, herd the cows, shovel the manure, work really hard, and how to negotiate with Bhubrt to get money for farm supplies, and offering his friendship. To this day, he is probably the only rich person that I am not envious of.  And the grand matriarch of our family was Mother Kaulini. 

She was temple president, head of the kitchen, head pujari, head of the milking department, and was exactly like a loving mother to all of us. She kept everyone going by her orders, her begging, her preaching, her love, and especially her example. For some time I actually did not understand how she could be so devoted to such a struggling reduced project. Then a few years later, I got married, and was living in the temple before I got my own place. One time Mother Kaulini asked me to do some service, and I objected. She said, “Acarya, you have an obligation”.  I didn’t like to hear that. As a new grhasta, I had tons of obligations, and resented her adding one more to my list, although I still surrendered and did what she asked of me. But in thinking about it over the months and years, I appreciated what she said. She had an extremely powerful sense of obligation to serving Srila Prabhupada, Radha Damodara, and all of the cows and devotees at GN, and that carried her through so many years of difficult service. 

And Mother Kaulini, did not have a very easy life. First of all she was raising her son Rama, by herself. When I came to GN he was a teen in high school, and being a devotee kid in public school at that time was a lot harder than it is now. The necks then were even redder than they are now, and being a Krsna was ample cause for teasing and bullying, but Rama got through it on the strength of his tolerance, good looks, winning personality, and strength of character. Saci, who was very close with Rama,  and I would sometimes hang out in his trailer, and he also had the only TV on the farm. But I swear, we just watched Jeopardy for its educational value, and the news of desert storm, and okay, a couple of times we watched Hee Haw. 

Tell about first black kid in Juniata.  Her love and concern for her son was obvious, and her happiness, pride, and relief, as he reached the various milestones of his life was clear. First graduating high school, then getting a job as a California Highway patrolman, becoming the body guard for Govenor Ahhnuld, and finally getting married and having a beautiful family, all gave her great satisfaction. 

Her health was also a constant source of difficulty for her. She worked unceasingly and really hard for many years, but she was not what you would call a very strong or robust person. She was always very austere and skinny, and prone to colds and whatnot. And as the years went on the health issues compounded. Lyme disease, diabetes, that auto-immune problem, and finally and most devastating of all was the cancer diagnosis. 

I would not say that these things never worried her or depressed her, but they never interfered with her core commitment to serving Srila Prabhupada and Krsna. Srila Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura explains this when discussing anyabhilasita sunyam. He says that anyabhilasa sunyam means devoid of all other desires, but anyabhilasita sunyam means, “Devoid of other desires, which are as deep-rooted as one’s nature.” In other words, due to emergencies, or the tribulations of material nature, different desires or concerns may come and go, just like when the Vrajavasis sometimes pray, “Krsna save me!”, or Srila Prabhupada being gored by a cow on the streets of Delhi, and wondering, “why is this happening to me.” None of this interferes with the devotees core identity and obligation to serve and love krsna. 

Another difficulty was her position as manager at GN. She did not like managing, she did it because it had to be done. Nor did she have what one might consider to be qualities needed to be a manager, but she always did the needful, to the best of her abilities, and with love and respect for the devotees under her. I remember especially one time, years ago, when one crazy person was trying to hijack GN for his own purposes, and Mother Kaulini expressed how she was so disgusted, and so tired of the whole management thing, but her love for GN kept her vigilant and at the helm for many years despite that. 

Maybe because of these difficulties, or maybe it was just her nature, she could sometimes be very grave in appearance. Has anyone seen the drawing of Kaulini that Jayadeva is working on? It captures that gravity perfectly. Bhakti rasamrta Sindhu describes how a devotee in bhava can be very deep and grave, so that their emotions are not very easily shown by external behavior, just like a great mountain in the ocean does not disturb the ocean at all. And a devotee can also be very sensitive and easily moved, like a pebble tossed into a puddle. 

Mother Kaulini embodies both of these moods. She was grave and serious, and not always revealing every detail of her mind. But she was also so open, and emotional and loving. In many ways she was like an innocent child, and she could very easily exhibit her emotions, her loves, her frustrations, etc. And despite her gravity she was a very happy person and she loved to laugh. Her laugh was not oceanic. It was more like a little girl’s giggling. And I loved to try and make her laugh, and felt great satisfaction when I or someone else succeeded.  One time, while cooking for a festival, I was looking for an ingredient for a prep. I could never remember where anything was stored so my habit was to call out, Mother Kaulini cumin, or Mother Kaulini salt, etc.  so I called across the kitchen to her, “Mother Kaulini. Honey?” And a devotee, Mahavegavati, said, “Acarya, don’t call mother Kaulini honey.? And I was a little embarrassed, but I was so happy to see Mother Kaulini almost doubled over with laughter. 

And cooking with Mother Kaulini and the other devotees was one of my favorite activities. I always tried to please her with my cooking, and some of the things I made, especially dahi vada, and chewda, she really liked. But it was also hard for me, because I like heat and chillis, and she had no tolerance. She used to do this weird thing where if a prep had too much chilli she would start sneezing. So sometimes she liked my cooking, sometimes she was say it was good but too hot, and sometimes she would just chastise me, like the time I made chilli pakora for an offering, and she bit into it not knowing what it was. And her own cooking was great. Her most famous wonderful prep is her besan laddu, but she was a great all around cook. The prep that sticks in my mind the most was deep fried eggplant and panir calzones for Rama’s birthday. 

Kaulini - the daughter of a noble family

By Suresvara Dasa

Before I went to Vrindaban in 1987, Kaulini asked me to find out what her name meant. With the help of a local Sanskritist, I learned two meanings: "the daughter of a noble family" (like Radha) and "buried treasure," a free translation. Because Kaulini liked to serve in the background, many never knew her, so I liked buried treasure the best.

Of all the sacrifices Kaulini lovingly performed during her thirty years at Gita-nagari, one especially stands out: Milking Krsna's cows in the dark in thirty below temperatures.

When I asked Kaulini how she did that--milked cows in thirty-below zero weather--she smiled and said "very fast." So when I heard a bull had come to her room for last darshan, and later, while her body was in repose at the barn, a cow had gushed auspicious mutra, I smiled. 

The milkmaid had gone to serve her Cowherd Couple, Sri Sri Radha Damodar. We love you, Kaulini Ma, because you loved all of us in Srila Prabhupada's whole earth house. You are the sweetest, strongest mother I've ever met. Please correct me within/without so I can serve with you again.

A mother to the community

By Madhava Smullen 

Kaulini Devi Dasi, a much-loved disciple of Srila Prabhupada known for her simplicity, surrender and purity, and for her many years of dedicated service at Gita Nagari, passed away on September 3rd. She was 69.

Born and raised in Northern California, her life changed when she received Srila Prabhupada’s Bhagavad-gita in 1972 while on a trip to Mexico. Upon her return, her husband Kenneth Beck – who later became Keshava Bharati Swami -- had also gotten one of Prabhupada’s books.

Kaulini followed him to ISKCON, joining the San Francisco temple that same year. She received initiation from Srila Prabhupada in 1973. In 1976, she moved to the Gita Nagari farm community in Pennsylvania. From there, she headed up a women’s sankirtana party, traveling around the U.S. in a motorhome and distributing books.

Later, Kaulini began cooking for the deities and devotees at Gita Nagari, which she continued to do for thirty years. Always surrendered to whatever needed doing, she also cared for the farm’s many cows, served as the head pujari (priest), and, when many devotees left Gita Nagari in the mid 1980s, even took on the post of temple president. “She was like the mother of the community,” says her long time friend" Kaisori Dasi.

In the late 2000s, after Kaulini suffered a health crisis brought on by cancer and other ailments, Sacisuta Das and his wife Keli-lalita Dasi bought her a house next door to theirs in upstate New York and lovingly cared for her for many years. She also stayed with her son Rama in Sacramento, California. Kaulini returned to Gita Nagari to pass away. For one week, devotees  streamed in to see her, sing kirtan, and as per her wishes read to her about Srila Prabhupada. They also brought Sri Sri Radha Damodar to see her.

Kaulini (in green sari) and her son Rama with Srila Prabhupada

“It was a magical darsana, and I could see that she was deeply touched by Their care and mercy,” says Kaisori, who helped Kaulini through chemotherapy and was with her in her final days. 

On Wednesday September 2nd, devotees from all over the country chanted for hours with Kaulini. Then, at 2:20am on Thursday September 3rd, while her old Gita Nagari friends led by Visakha Devi sang a quiet no-instruments kirtan, she departed.

“She completely opened her heart in faith, and to the devotees,” says Kaisori. “It was like watching someone step out away from fear and pain and uncertainty. She just surrendered. It was beautiful.” Kaulini leaves behind her son Rama, two grandchildren, and many sisters and brothers in ISKCON whose lives she touched.

“She was sweet, pure, simple-hearted, friendly, very Krishna conscious, and always serving,” Kaisori says. “It’s rare I saw her idle. She was an uncomplicated person. She was non-envious. She cared for the devotees. And she loved Prabhupada. I will miss her, but at the same time, she was such a pure soul that I don’t mourn her. Her destination is glorious.”

http://iskconnews.org/kaulini-devi-passes-away-after-life-of-simplicity-and-surrender,5074/